ok so some of my favorite movies are "The Wizard of Oz" and "Steel Magnolias"- happy, sad, magical and wonderful (HEAVY SIGH) kinds of films. But due to my experiences of being in a marriage that was not working and the obstacles I faced trying to get out of that relationship, I realized that I was not at all prepared to STAND UP FOR MYSELF, either physically, emotionally or mentally. Its funny how I always
thought I was a strong, smart woman only to find out how in the dark I had been kept.
This is a list that I believe truly helped me during that very difficult and scary time; its something that I want to share, something that I believe might help others.Or, just something I HAVE TO GET OFF MY MIND. I just believe all women should watch these. Why? Because they depict women overcoming huge and very different obstacles... at the hands of the man they love and who have hurt them. Extreme as these cases may be, I was really inspired by these films. There is such a thing as mental and emotional abuse.... there were times that I felt as though things would have been easier to explain if I had a black eye or broken arm but that is neither here nor there. And with so many of us that don't think we deserve happiness, WE DO... my biggest challenge? sometimes it meant having to overcome my biggest enemy - my very SELF.
1.
Kill Bill vol 1 and 2 - ok, this is one of those extreme ones; I mean really, how many of us part of an elite, deadly trained assassination team? Maybe this DOES speak to you more than to others, I don't know. And I don't think that
murder is way to solve your problems, however she really had no choice but kill or be killed. As with all the Quentin Tarantino films I have seen, its very violent but BEEP, played by Uma Thurman, is a woman, a mother out to find the daughter taken from her while she lay in a coma after being beat and then shot in the head by her man Bill. She is driven and unrelenting in exacting her revenge.
2.
Enough - this is one of those many movies that I had seen the end of many times but just recently saw the entire film. Starring Jennifer Lopez as a victim of an abusive and possessive husband, she is fighting to leave and he is determined that if he cannot "have her, no one will"... For SLIM, she is one of the lucky ones who has support and finds ways to outsmart her conniving, well-connected and very rich husband... unfortunately, he gets whacked in the end too. But as in many domestic violence relationships, we know all too well by the news that the majority of these women who are told the same thing ARE MURDERED by their husbands and boyfriends (present or EXes). Again, a woman, a mother, whose life is dedicated to saving herself and her precious child.The critics tore it up and the outcome while possible, not very plausible, it asks some very hard questions about the cycle of abuse, the hopelessness of the situation but in the end, I found myself cheering her on.
3.
Fight Club - okay so this one may not seem to fit the category..... after I watched this film, I had some serious questions about not only the movie but the whole concept of mental health, delusions, and insanity as well. To be a "Marla" or not to be? It is based on the novel of the same name by
Chuck Palahniuk and presents the idea of physical fighting as a form of therapy for men - primal and dark, it is a "coming of age" film as the unnamed narrator (Edward Norton) realizes he has done everything that our consumer goods society has told would make him happy and yet, he finds no joy in his life at all. In comes TYLER played by Brad Pitt who is the founder of Fight Club and the mastermind of Project Mayhem. In the end it is revealed that the narrator and Tyler are the same person. Facing our internal demons as well as separating what the "media" tells us would make us happy and complete from our true inner happiness is a biggie. The themes of hunters in a consumer society, the human's evolutionary instinct to fight that must now be suppressed, and the mental breakdown of our sick, sick minds is for me, a must see.
4.
Hope Floats - ok, well after so much violence, here is one starring my all time fav actor Sandra Bullock who plays BIRDIEE, a woman who thinks she is getting a makeover only to be bombarded with the news that her husband is having an affair with her friend. Her life destroyed publicly by the televised reveal, she takes her daughter back home to her mother's. Themes here are a bit more universal - she had left a small hometown where she never felt she belonged and now must, with her tail tucked between her legs, "come back home". Of course, we all know you can NEVER go back home - you grow, you change, town changes, people grow old and die, etc. In addition to the mother/daughter issues presented in this film, Birdiee must deal with her own inner demons, including depression and resentment towards her mother. Somehow she must find the strength to move on when all she wants to do is stay in her pj's and sleep all day, every day. Harry Connick Jr plays the old friend who becomes the "new" romance in her life. It also stars Geena Rowlands and was directed by Forest Whitaker.
5.
Practical Magic
This is one of my all time favorite movies; its the one I watch when I'm sick at home or at home depressed - it picks me up and takes me back to an innocent time when first believed in magic, in Santa Claus... etc
There's many themes in this one, based on a book by Alice Hoffman, same title, including the sister bond, the role of our family/genes in what we become, and of course, in the end-all, best-est of all magic, LOVE. The other thing I love about this movie are the Aunts and I think "brownies for breakfast" is awesome. This is the movie that helped me put in check the horrible hate and cynical feelings that ruled me after my separation. Along with "Nacho Libre" and "Interview with a Vampire", its my cuddled with tissues, Tylenol and Vicks on the couch keep me from shooting myself kind of movie.... IMHO :)
