Why can't I let things go!

I was very into the church growing up. I came from a very Catholic, very Mexican American heritage, and I just as an adult, I don't get it. Are I refused to get it? I was 18 or 19 years old. When I renounced my Catholicism and with that, I rejected the Christian God, the Christian God. Yeah, let's talk about it. This is a God who would deny babies. Babies entry into heaven unless they've been baptized before they died. What the f***? How is a baby responsible for what happened to him? And why does he have to be baptized? Anyway, oh yeah, because of this crazy notion that we are all born with sin. Why? Because eavesdened, she ate the apple, okay, again, Christian mythology. This is all a story that was made up by men to suppress and control women to take the power away from women, because for thousands of years before christ, every single culture, every single society around the world praised, worshipped, honored, respected, the divine feminine. She came in many forms